Free World Dating Sites

International Dating Sites – Why They Need to Go Free

For many men, finding your perfect spouse requires the help of international singles, dating, personals, marriage, or matchmaking sites. Women at home have lost their allure, while international agencies offer introductions to women who are younger, taller, prettier, sexier, smarter, and better-educated that you can find at home.

And the amazing fact is, these stunning women think you are a good catch. I remember an old episode of “Two and a Half Men” where Alan goes on a date with someone he met via an online dating service. In her eyes, he was a catch because he had a penis and a job. It’s not quite that easy, but it’s close. Women in Russia or China or the Philippines what a good husband first, and relocation to the U.S., U.K., or Australia second, if at all. This is the core fact that most Western women deny when they see “their” men marrying younger women abroad.

Mail order brides have been around since there was mail and a shortage of women in a particular area like the American west in the 1800s. Agencies like Cherry Blossoms have been around for decades with glossy catalogs where one could order a girl’s address and begin a long distance conversation that could lead to a proposal and marriage.

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All you had to pay for was an address. You sent the first letter, maybe some photos, and woman decided if she would respond. Local agencies would recruit the girls, take or collect the photos, send them to the catalog agency, sell the addresses to whoever was interested, and share the income.

For American men, you were free to invite your fiancee to the U.S. without having previously met, and without all of the current IMBRA created nonsense like background checks, your marital history, approval from the woman before you can write or email, and degrading warnings to the woman in her language of what she can do if you are “abusive”. IMBRA may have been inspired by noble intentions (I don’t believe that it was, but that’s another story.), but good intentions make bad law, and IMBRA is bad law.

But I digress.

Big agencies like eHarmony and Match.com are exempt from these IMBRA requirements. The law was carefully crafted to attack for profit agencies whose clients primarily use the K-1 fiance visa process to invite women to the U.S. for marriage.

Statistics don’t really exist, but some believe international marriage agencies facilitate:

1. visa fraud

2. importing prostitutes

3. abusive and/or criminal men finding victims

4. taking advantage of poor women

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What most men who consider this path will tell you is that they want a traditional wife and future mother for their children. That too is not quite true. What they want is a hot wife who wants and needs him without the need to compete or to be “fulfilled” outside of the family. Very few Western women make a man feel like a man. If they did, these agencies would wither and die.

Totally free online dating agencies like Plenty of Fish are exempt from IMBRA because they do not charge either men or women to join or use their services like posting profiles and photos, or emailing each other. Free agencies rely on advertising for the most part to stay in business. Others like Match.com will let you browse and post profiles, but you have to upgrade to a subscription to make contact, much the way international dating sites work.

Current Business Model

If you look at the best international marriage agencies like AnastasiaDate, A Foreign Affair, and
Cherry Blossoms, they are still based on selling contact information, the traditional catalog model. Trouble is, IMBRA requires that the woman sees your background info and gives written consent before you can communicate with her. This runs up the cost of doing business, and in my humble opinion, does nothing to protect the woman abroad.

“The Federal statute forbids direct dissemination or facilitation by an IMB of personal information using any of its services based on speech or other forms of communication. This includes AnastasiaDate’s E-mail service, Live Chat or other service where the assistance of a translator is used. IMBRA also requires background checks on all members traveling to Russia & CIS with AnastasiaDate.” ~ from AnastasiaDate

According to AnastasiaDate, this is how the current dating agencies work:

1. Thousands of local dating agencies in cities and towns around the world recruit single women who are looking for husbands abroad.

2. The local agency helps with photos, profiles, and contact information, and weeds out the scammers.

3. Contact information is shared with the large U.S. based online agency who posts the profiles in their database.

4. For you to contact women you are interested in, or to take a tour, you will supply your bio for a background check.

5. Income is shared with the local agencies.

Agencies either charge for particular services like sending email, translation, phone translation, and video chat, or they charge a monthly subscription plus more for tour assistance and other services. AnastasiaDate has over 240 employees in addition to contractors. It takes money to keep a good site going.

A Foreign Affair Russian women want you.

Embrace the Free

I am waiting for an international marriage agency to embrace the idea of totally free online dating, and only charging for other services like tours, translation, and local accommodations as needed. Internet access is getting better and cheaper around the world. Charging for that initial contact via email or video chat is what subjects the agency to IMBRA’s restrictions.

I’m a retired attorney. There are always ways to structure your business so you don’t have to subject yourself to overreaching legislation. Several quietly have.

But there’s another reason to go free, or the first one to try it. You could probably test a few profiles with a local agency in China or the Ukraine. While they are still making money the old-fashioned way, you could see if the free model is viable. (I don’t think the profiles are exclusive. You see the same women posted on multiple sites.)

The U.S. based international marriage agency would make it’s money from tours, and possibly translation, but not for the email contact itself. I firmly believe writing or emailing is close to useless. It wastes everyone’s time. Local agencies could make their money from providing local translators, local accommodations like apartments, and even weddings.

Go free. The money is not in the address any longer.

You have a girlfriend now, after months of pursuing and steady dating. You worked hard at making a good impression, and might have even transformed yourself into a real nice guy. Good behavior doesn’t stop the moment she becomes your girlfriend. Both of you might even get married. But you have to remember that good behavior goes on, even well into married life.

Treat her like you want to be treated. Don’t talk bad about your lady when you’re with friends, specially when you’re with your male buddies in the gym or at work. Trash talk says a lot about the kind of person you are, so don’t put your own partner down. Praise her all the more when she’s not with you, but just make sure you come off sincere.

Private matters should be kept private. If you want to discuss something important and you’re with friends or in a public place, go find a quiet corner and talk. The last thing you want to happen is to escalate your conversation into an argument.

Men will always appreciate a beautiful woman. But remember that you’re in a relationship now. Focus your attention on her, make her feel like she’s the queen of your kingdom.

Be loyal! If you’re going to a dinner or a club with her girl friends, don’t leave her side. You’re part of a couple now, in a serious relationship, so say goodbye to flirting with other women. She’ll love you more if she feels secure in your relationship.

You may have showered her with compliments and gifts to prove that you really wanted her to be your girlfriend. There’s no reason for you to stop now. Remember your anniversary dates and birthdays. Never fail to greet her, and never forget to buy her flowers.

Also, there’s no excuse that you should forget your gentlemanly ways too, as this is probably one of the main reasons she got attracted to you. Carry her bags for her, and make opening doors a habit, and hold the umbrella for her when it rains. You’ll always be her hero if you keep at it.

Good behavior doesn’t stop after getting her to be your girlfriend or wife. If you strive to be good through and through, then she’s lucky to have her in your life.

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Attracting women is no easy job. Confidence is crucial if you ever hope to start something new with a woman you’re interested in. Whether you feel like she’s out of your league or like the girl next door, the right communication skills will definitely grab her attention.

When you’re at a social gathering or a restaurant, you might see someone that looks interesting. Draw closer to her and after introducing yourself, launch into some small talk. Always remember to keep eye contact with her and try not to sound nervous. It’s a simple conversation; it should be easy! Being a bundle of nerves will only send out the wrong first impression.

For a woman, it’s important that a man dresses with confidence. Take a step back and check out your hair and your outfit. Are your clothes clean and pressed, and does your hair smell good? Being attractive begins with good grooming. Would you even think about going up to a woman who looks like she didn’t bathe or comb her hair? Fixing yourself up is surely the first thing to do if you want to attract women.

Add some humor in your conversation. Tease her a bit on, say, what she’s wearing or the bag she’s holding. But make sure it’s not something offensive. When you tease her and succeed in making her smile or laugh, you come across as a guy who’s light and fun to be with. Since you’re just in the getting-to-know-you stage, you’ll win points with your easy attitude early on.

Know how to handle yourself. You’d look funny if you didn’t know what you were talking about. Brush up on current events, music, movies, sports, hobbies. When you do a little bit of research on general information, you’d have ready answers to whatever topic you’ll discuss.

Being on the same wavelength is a foolproof indicator that a woman is getting more and more excited about getting to know you more. You can see it in the way she speaks and in the manner which she maintains eye-contact. If she feels like you’re great company, then half your job’s done.

The best way to get a woman to reveal more about herself is to ask questions that are open-ended. If you ask her about her work or other activities by beginning your questions with “how” or “what”, you’ll easily learn more about her.

Go out there and get that girl. Confidence, eye-contact, a little general knowledge and some practice are all you need to attract any woman.

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